&Don't forget to smile.

Roses are Blue, Violets are Unicorns, This Poem doesn't make any sense, Refrigerator

154 notes

Actual message in letter I mailed: Congrats on getting married! Here’s a hundred-dollar gift certificate to Amazon.com. You could buy something practical, or you could buy 101 copies of my .99 cents ebook. Just kidding—I didn’t mean to imply that buying 101 copies of my book was impractical. 

Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title (via observando)

8,623 notes

rowedelsin:

The whole idea that women can’t play video games is so stupid because seriously what is it about using a controller to move a character around that is so hard that a woman cannot do it please explain this entire concept to me

(via phenomenal-darkness)

577,839 notes

9pm:
"I'm going to bed now."
10pm:
"I'm going to bed now."
11pm:
"I'm going to bed now."
12am:
"I'm going to bed now."
1am:
"I'm going to bed now."
2am:
"I'm going to bed now."
3am:
"FUCK."
4am:
"FUCK."
5am:
"OKAY."

430,851 notes

the-barghinator:

0h-well-castiel:

aviciibylevels:

amandafiske:

Opposite of walking into a glass door.

i haVEe been laUAGHING AT thIS FOR 328 YeaRS

okay so i have a story for u
i was on a bus (i live in london fyi) and normally on the second pair of doors there are like two glass windows on either side separating the seats from the space, so i decided to stand in the middle, because u know, i thought i would be safe, BUT OH LORD AND BEYOND I WAS WRONG
like, as soon as i got on i realised this wasnt gonna be a normal fuckin bus journey, because the bus driver was FUCKING MENTAL, his driving was super fast and he was swerving round corners like he gotta get home to watch his favourite tv show or s/t
so when the journey comes to an end, he pulls up to the stop, yet it wasn’t a gentle pull up (because remember, the bus driver was off his tits), it was like satan was taking the whole bus from behind, and remember the part where I said I was standing? yeah me too
so as my life flashed before my eyes i quickly put my hand out to stop myself from slamming into the glass, BUT TO MY SURPRISE THE GLASS WASN’T FUCKING THERE, THE GLASS HAD BETRAYED MY HANDS AND I HEARD SARAH MCLACHLAN SINGING IN THE ARMS OF AN ANGEL
I FULL ON SMACKED A GUY IN THE FUCKING FACE WHO HAD JUST TURNED AROUND AND STOOD UP TO GET OFF THE BUS BECAUSE THE GLASS WAS NOT THERE
AND AS IF THIS COULD NOT GET ANY WORSE, IN MY MIND I COULDN’T JUST SLAP AND LEAVE HIM, SO I DECIDED TO GENTLY STROKE HIS FACE, LIKE who the fuck, im so ashamed of my bus it lasted a good 5 seconds
i then slowly got off the bus and contemplated my life choices
and that was the day glass on a bus betrayed me 

THAT WAS THE GREATEST STORY I’VE EVER READ

the-barghinator:

0h-well-castiel:

aviciibylevels:

amandafiske:

Opposite of walking into a glass door.

i haVEe been laUAGHING AT thIS FOR 328 YeaRS

okay so i have a story for u

i was on a bus (i live in london fyi) and normally on the second pair of doors there are like two glass windows on either side separating the seats from the space, so i decided to stand in the middle, because u know, i thought i would be safe, BUT OH LORD AND BEYOND I WAS WRONG

like, as soon as i got on i realised this wasnt gonna be a normal fuckin bus journey, because the bus driver was FUCKING MENTAL, his driving was super fast and he was swerving round corners like he gotta get home to watch his favourite tv show or s/t

so when the journey comes to an end, he pulls up to the stop, yet it wasn’t a gentle pull up (because remember, the bus driver was off his tits), it was like satan was taking the whole bus from behind, and remember the part where I said I was standing? yeah me too

so as my life flashed before my eyes i quickly put my hand out to stop myself from slamming into the glass, BUT TO MY SURPRISE THE GLASS WASN’T FUCKING THERE, THE GLASS HAD BETRAYED MY HANDS AND I HEARD SARAH MCLACHLAN SINGING IN THE ARMS OF AN ANGEL

I FULL ON SMACKED A GUY IN THE FUCKING FACE WHO HAD JUST TURNED AROUND AND STOOD UP TO GET OFF THE BUS BECAUSE THE GLASS WAS NOT THERE

AND AS IF THIS COULD NOT GET ANY WORSE, IN MY MIND I COULDN’T JUST SLAP AND LEAVE HIM, SO I DECIDED TO GENTLY STROKE HIS FACE, LIKE who the fuck, im so ashamed of my bus it lasted a good 5 seconds

i then slowly got off the bus and contemplated my life choices

and that was the day glass on a bus betrayed me 

THAT WAS THE GREATEST STORY I’VE EVER READ

(via badaboomah)